This week I’ve been cleaning out my china cabinet and buffet, wrapping tea cups and vases and wine glasses in newspaper and stuffing them—carefully—into boxes. Next I’ll pack up the living room and then the bedroom.
To anyone who steps in the door, it looks like I’m getting ready to leave town. In reality, I’m only getting ready to replace my carpet with hardwood floors.
It sounded simple—just another remodeling project—until I thought about the fact that absolutely everything in those rooms sits on the floor or inside something that sits on the floor.
I wouldn’t have taken the project on if it hadn’t been for my doctor. According to him, the dust mites that hang out in carpets make the asthma I developed five or six years ago worse. I procrastinated for a long time. Now, finally, I’m taking action.
Digging through Layers of Time
Packing is like being on an archaeological dig. The deeper you dig into cupboards and drawers, the further back in time you go.
My little chest of drawers in the hallway is a good example. It’s where I keep my music. The top of it looks all Twenty-First Century, an iPod resting in a Bose sound deck dock.
The drawer below it is filled with CDs. Bruno Mars, Dave Matthews, Natalie Merchant, the Eurythmics, Bob Marley, Jon Secada, Mozart, The Nutcracker, Joan Baez, the Tijuana Brass. Each CD takes me further back in time.
The bottom drawer draws me deeper still. I find cassettes I listened to when we lived in Manila and homemade cassettes of the kids singing for Grandma and Grandpa.
I get rid of some CDs and cassettes and save others. I could give them all away, I suppose. I have most of them on iTunes already. They’re saved in the cloud.
The cloud … Such an insubstantial concept! It’s about as solid as a memory.
You Can’t Taste a Memory.
No matter how real they may seem, you can’t grab hold of a memory. You can’t taste or smell it or rub it against your cheek. That’s why we anchor our memories with things we can see, smell, taste, touch, and … hear.
When my mom died, the ladies in my writing group gave me a wind chime. They said I should hang it near the front door so I could hear it chime and think of Mom whenever the wind blew. A tangible sign to remind me of her. Not that I’ll ever forget my mom. Still, I love remembering her each time I hear that chime.
My cupboards are full of tangible reminders of things I’ve done and places I’ve been. I like the idea of neat, pared down cupboards. The trouble is, cleaning them out threatens to strip substance from my memories. It leaves them naked and vulnerable.
And yet, you can’t save everything.
So I pack up some CDs for Goodwill and books for the library sale. I say goodbye to the silver-plated platters and silver-rimmed cocktail glasses that were wedding gifts back in the last century.
The china my grandma painted is even older, but …
Oh well. I’ll tell you more about my grandma’s china painting next week.
That china is beautiful, Nicki! 🙂 You’ve made me feel quite guilty 🙁 Our son is an asthma sufferer, and apart from kitchen and bathrooms we have carpets! I’d never given it serious thought before. Granted he lives away now, but he’s home every 2/3 weeks for a weekend. Thinks! 🙂 🙂
I wouldn’t worry, Jo. There are so many things that contribute to one’s asthma. I’m sure he’ll be fine for weekend visits.
Good luck! We did a recent move, and it was quite a lot of packing. We’ve also taken out our carpet before to see if we could salvage the underlying hardwood floors. The worst is moving all that heavy furniture around!
Thanks, Jennifer. I’ve moved nine times since I became an adult, two of those moves, international. It always sounds easier in the abstract. I’m really glad I don’t have to move the heavy furniture myself when they replace the carpet. I’d never be able to do it.
It can be hard to separate from stuff, but it can also be a very freeing feeling. Important memories will still stay with you. I had to throw away a lot of things before moving to China, but I think it was worth it. I hope you’ll see fast improvement with the asthma once the carpet floor is out.
It’s like cleaning my desk. I want to leave things out so I won’t forget to do something with them. But after a good cleaning, I realize many of those things were unimportant after all. And you’re right. It makes you feel free to be rid of all that stuff.
I loved these sentences: “Packing is like being on an archaeological dig. The deeper you dig into cupboards and drawers, the further back in time you go.”
I did an online course on archaeology a couple of years ago and actually one of the first exercises was opening a drawer, analising the contents and checking if they were in chronological order from bottom to top. They were!
I’ve never taken an archaeology course, but it’s so cool to hear that one of your first exercises was to analyze the contents of a drawer and check if they were in chronological order from bottom to top. Thanks for telling me.
Renewing the floor is really a huge task when you are settled in a place. In Finland we had often the plan to renew our old broken wooden floor but in the end we decided against it as we simply had no time and place to take all our belongings out of the apartment.
I know you understand, Timo. You did a lot of work moving into your present home. I’m lucky I have a garage to stack the furniture in while the new floor is being installed.
Good that you have a garage available. In Finland we didn’t had that opportunity but in case we need some renovations here in Germany we even have two garages available 🙂
Two garages! That must be useful in bad weather.
Oh well, we are rather good in stuffing them full of useless stuff so in case we need space we got to throw away a lot
There is, indeed, so much memory in our objects. When I envision all the stuff I have left back in the States, I think about particular times and places that are associated with the STUFF. But since I’m an “expert” mover and packer, I’ve learned to let go of things quickly. Enjoy going down memory lane 🙂
When we moved overseas, I left our good china and other wedding gifts in my parents’ attic. It was fun to start a new life in the Philippines. We rented a house and furnished it with rattan. I thought we’d be back in the US in four or five years. Twenty years later, I finally unpacked the stuff in my parents’ attic.
OMG. That must have been quite epic.
Best of luck with your sorting and packing, Nicki. It’s a process. We’ve downsized several times and still have “too much stuff.”
Last year, we emptied out the hutch to paint the living room walls but I didn’t have to pack stuff since it could sit in the middle of the room while BFF painted.
I’m not interested in putting our CD’s on a cloud somewhere since they sit nicely on our shelves where I can see them.
Thanks for the good wishes, Nancy.
I wouldn’t have thought of changing my music system, but a couple of years ago my CD player broke down, and when I tried to replace it, all I found were huge expensive systems, little boom boxes, and these iPod-docking station combinations. Not knowing exactly what I was getting into, I went for the iPod and the Bose sound deck. So here I am.
Wonderful post, Nicki. I love how you describe anchoring our memories with things that touch our senses ~ so true! Now I feel less guilt about hanging on to my “stuff.”
Packing everything up is a huge project but I think you’ll like having hardwood floors. I know that I do!
The carpets feel so nice on bare feet, but hardwood floors are better for dancing. Bye-bye dust mites.
Your grandmother’s painted china is exquisite!
Thank you, Suzicate. I think it’s quite beautiful.
I know how you feel about digging through the layers of time, Nicki..
I was only given three days notice to pack my stuff when I accepted the job in the Middle East. I had no choice but to honor the contract regarding my start date because I had already handled in my resignation at a short notice in my job, in London.
I don’t have possessions in Turkey apart for the essentials i.e. my notebook and clothes mainly work clothes. Image, appearance and face saving are important in Turkish culture.
At a later stage, I have to put my music on iTunes/clouds (most of my stuff are in London).
‘You can’t taste a memory’ and ‘tangible reminders of things’ are things I can relate to. Of course, I miss some aspects of my life in London; the ethnic food, the music, culture, the variety of food in the super market, interesting and stimulating talks ranging from Korean, Japanese cultures, cuisines etc, the U.K.legal system etc. But I also relish the moments of unlocking my potential and finding out more about myself. Learning the Turkish language is not an easy task. I am doing a Turkish and English exchange via Skype.
Moving overseas means leaving behind lots of things–people, possessions, places and activities that were part of our lives. When we come back, the world we left will have changed. The traveler, too, will have changed. He will have gathered new friends, possessions, and memories. Best wishes on your study of Turkish.
I have asthma too, and it makes sense to remove your carpets. Even frequent vacuuming doesn’t get rid of the dust mites. We have started to do the same here. I get what you’re saying about memories, but I understand very well that what is memorable to me, in most cases won’t have the same meaning to my children. I have been clearing clutter and paring down some of my life’s treasures to keep only what means the most. I’ve already gotten rid of all my CD’s. Like yours, mine are all saved in the cloud.
I’m not a big saver of memorabilia. After our mother died, my sister was the one who wanted to save things. She has all of Mom’s photo albums. They fill up an entire bookcase. She’s been scanning and organizing the photos for some time now. It’s a big job, but she enjoys it. And I appreciate all her work. She contributed a photo for my next post.
Even though I don’t try to save many keepsakes, closets all over the house still need lots of clearing out.
I see where someone got their artistic talent! That china is lovely. Yes, cleaning out the garage is my personal expedition into archeology. Last month I found a stack of schoolwork and pictures from my sister in seventh grade. My husband was all, “Now you’re keeping everyone else’s stuff, too?!”
I shipped it to my sister for her birthday and she was thrilled. Guess we all enjoy a trip down memory lane some times.
Your sister probably enjoyed looking back at how cute and smart she was in seventh grade. I kept things in my mom’s attic for the longest time. It was a big attic so I didn’t really feel guilty. Of course, you have to deal with these things eventually.
The way I think of my grandma is: She was good at everything. Like you, she was a good dancer. My grandpa played clarinet and sax in a dance band every Saturday night, and even though he wasn’t available as a dance partner, my grandma never sat out a dance. Besides being a good dancer, she was a big flirt.
Love this post! Whenever I start to clean out things, I am good for about 2 hours and then I get lost in reverie and can’t bear to throw another thing out. I love how you described memories and our need to have them tangible. So true. We have a gazillion cd’s which my husband keeps buying. We really need to learn more about the cloud and music. At least we can take that to the nursing home when the times comes.
I know what you mean, Kate, about being good for about 2 hours of cleaning out closets. Getting lost in reverie is one issue. The other is running low on decision-making power.
I actually didn’t transfer all my CDs to iTunes. I got tired of doing it part way through, and now I don’t know if I remember what I did. Some day when I should be doing something else I’ll get back to it.
Great post, Nicki. I’m glad you’ll replace your carpet. But wow. So much to do.
You have a great music collection! It’s so true how music takes us back to various times and moods.
I think about the cloud and how tenuous that sounds too! Which is why I’ve been so reluctant to store some of the music in my phone on the cloud. 🙂
Out of the blue, Apple or Microsoft send us a message inviting us ordinary clueless people to join their cloud, and we’re busy doing something else. And now we have to stop and figure out what the cloud is and weigh the pros and cons. Some day I’ll look into it. Not now. I have to finish packing and cleaning out my cupboards first.
Packing up everything is such a huge undertaking. However, if replacing the carpet helps with your asthma, then it is worth it in the long run.
When my husband and I purchased and moved into our new home 6 1/2 years ago, I thought about how I moved to Taiwan all those years ago with just two suitcases and a backpack and at the time of the move, we had so much stuff that we needed a couple of trucks. It is crazy how much stuff you accumulate over the years.
Just wait, Constance. Soon you will have a whole new category of stuff in your house. Even though a baby is a tiny creature, he or she takes up an amazing amount of space. I can’t believe how many things babies need these days. And they’re all so huge. My youngest daughter got a ton of stuff for her baby shower. She used it all, and then, as soon as he reached the next level of development, she gave it all away. She’s really good about going through her possessions every year and giving things away. I wish my closets were as clean as hers are.
A couple years ago, we re-sanded our hardwoods downstairs and replaced the upstairs carpet with hardwood. It’s a huge undertaking, but so worth it in the end. Good look, Nicki.
I love the sound of wind chimes.
When I remodeled the kitchen, they refinished the hardwood floors there and in the hallway. I had to stay away for a few days because of the smell. This time I’m going to use pre-finished oak, so I won’t have the toxic smell issue. Thank goodness.
I love the sound of wind chimes too.
Replacing the carpet with hardwood floors sounds like a big project. I haven’t done anything like that before, but one time the tiles of my apartment started popping up and they all had to be replaced. Like you, I packed my stuff into boxes and I was shocked at how much stuff I had accumulated over the years.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole cloud concept. The other day I was listening to music through Spotify and rediscovered songs from the 90s that I loved and still love. I have all of them on CDs that are sitting on my shelf and haven’t thought of touching them in a while 😀
“Layers of time” I like that saying. With each chapter of our lives, we often take something away from it based on our experiences. I also agree with you on the last point. Sometimes what is lost will always be lost, and it will never feel exactly the same again.
I need to get more familiar with all the ways of listening to music. I have playlists on my iPod. The one I use when I’m writing is all instrumental. Each year my daughter makes me a mix CD with new songs to keep me up-to-date. I play it in the car. I should try Pandora or Spotify. I think I’d like them.
I still don’t understand the cloud and which cloud service I should be using. More research needed.
Wow, packing up your things is quite an undertaking — but it’s good you’re doing it, since the carpeting was making you sick. I remember going through the things in my basement before moving to China and, as you said, it was very much like an archeological dig, sifting through all the layers of memories.
Hope the renovations go quickly!
I remember packing up in preparation for our move to the Philippines in 1971. All those decisions really wore me out. With each item I had to decide whether to give it away, sell it at our garage sale, put it in my parents’ attic, pack it in our suitcases, separate it out for air freight, or send it by ship. Decisions are hard.