I don’t think I’ve ever posted anything about my dad on Father’s Day. I did post this, though, about five years ago in April. So, I thought I’d like to republish it today.
There are all kinds of legends: music legends like Elvis, literary legends like Shakespeare, technology legends like Steve Jobs, boxing legends like Muhammad Ali, and saintly legends like Mother Teresa.
But there are also legends on a smaller scale, hometown legends and family legends. The list I’ve compiled below is based on the life of just one man, my dad.
- Don’t make excuses.
My dad, Andy Cromarty, had what sounds to me like a difficult childhood. Canada deported his mother back to Ireland when his dad was off following a job to California. Then the authorities threw my dad and his brothers into an orphanage. Eventually their dad retrieved them and raised them as best he could. The later addition of a stepmother only made matters worse from the boys’ points of view. When he was fifteen years old, my dad left home, determined to make his way in the world. One at a time, his two younger brothers followed.
A difficult childhood might be a good excuse for failure. Or, it could become part of the legend.
- Be brave.
The next ten or twelve years of my dad’s life are a little hazy to me. He built trails through the forest for the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps). He worked in logging camps. He lived with some other guys on a houseboat on the Skagit River until he almost died from a bad case of typhoid from drinking the water. He married my mom, Jacquie Johnstone. And he joined the Army to fight the Nazis in World War II.
Andy Cromarty and his best friend before the siege of Monte Cassino
Serving in North Africa, Italy, France, and Germany, he took part in the landing at Salerno on Red Beach and fought in the bloody battles of Monte Casino and Bruyeres in Southern France. He was an army engineer, often going beyond the front lines to build or destroy infrastructure. He was wounded in France, and after six weeks in a French hospital, he rejoined the fight, crossing the Rhine into Germany.
Fifteen-year-old boys making their way in the world and front-line soldiers have to be brave.
- Don’t toot your own horn.
None of the above information was provided by my dad. He didn’t talk about the war or his early days. My sister and I had to gather the facts from various other sources.
Humility and a little mystery feed the legend.
- Fearlessly attack new projects.
Dad’s and Jim’s first house, Dad on the roof
After returning from the war, with little house building experience or money, my dad and his brother Jim jumped right into what would be their future career. They built a small house on spec in Sedro-Woolley. Legend has it, the toilet fell through the floor when Jim sat on it during construction. An uncomfortable mistake, but it taught them a lesson they’d never forget.
- Do good work.
Dad was determined to learn the construction trade and learn it well. Before long, he was considered a master carpenter. In those days a carpenter had to do everything, and he did: framing, cabinets, electrical, plumbing, plaster work, tile, concrete work, hardwood floors, painting. His houses were known for being perfectly square, level, and plumb. More than 40 years after his death, people still live in those houses, and some of the residents remember my dad, the man who built them.
- Be honest and fair.
Put in an honest day’s work and don’t overcharge. Mom might have argued that he under-charged. But his prices only added to his sterling reputation.
- Love your work.
Dad used to go out to his shop after dinner to build things for fun. He called it “playing.” You might say he found his passion. Or you could say that he came to his work open to all it had to offer, which is how he learned to love it.
- Teach others.
Dad taught my sister and me a few things about carpentry. He also let my husband Eugene work with him building our first house. His most trusted apprentice was a young man named Darrell. Under Dad’s tutelage, Darrell, too, became a master carpenter. Then Darrell’s son became a well-known and respected builder of houses…. And so the legend continues.
- Be generous.
Dad’s generosity often took the form of unexpected gifts, many of which he made himself—a spice shelf for someone’s grandma or a pair of stilts for a kid down the street. On a larger scale, he donated his time and expertise to the American Legion Club and the Eagles Club in Sedro-Woolley, supervising their 1953 expansion.
- Love your family.
Dad didn’t talk much about loving his daughters; he showed us. Every morning on a school day, he made sure my sister and I got up on time (more or less). Then he cooked us breakfast: oatmeal, eggs, bacon and toast. Sometimes he made French toast, pancakes or the crepes he called Swedish pancakes. The crepes were to die for!
Mom consistently provided our birthday and Christmas gifts. Dad liked to surprise us. One summer he built us a below-ground concrete swimming pool. When we were older, he built a runabout boat and then a cabin cruiser. He made sure I had a pair of water skis to use with the runabout.
When he was dying from lung cancer, Dad rose from his sick bed and drove to town, returning with a bike for his granddaughter. After pumping up the tires, he insisted on helping her learn to ride it.
These were some of the ways Andy Cromarty became a legend, in his own family and his community.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.
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If you’ve read and enjoyed my book, I’d really appreciate a review.
I’m highly motivated to become a legend, this is awesome!! My name is also Darrell! And I actually like to innovate and build stuff! You and your dad have inspired me to be a better person!
Hi Darrell. I’m glad my dad inspires you to be your best. Follow your interests and care about your friends and family, and you will become a legend to the people who know you best.
What a beautiful tribute to your dad. Repost every year, right? Glad to hear you had such a remarkable father figure. Some would argue that he was part of the best generation of Americans to ever live. <3
Lani, I don’t know how I missed your comment until now. Sorry.
I agree, my parents’ generation was certainly among the best. I was complaining to myself the other day about the current obsession with being the biggest victim. How unlike that earlier generation that goal is. And especially unlike my dad. His goals were more about being successful enough to care for his family, helping others, and being a respectable person. When he was dating my mom, he even bought and studied Emily Post’s Etiquette.
What an absolutely gorgeous post about your dad. About the type of human being who is a real hero (legend also) in the eyes of his children and families and all who knew him. Each of your ten points is RIGHT ON and exemplary. I wish they could teach about men like your dad in school these days. THANKS for sharing your dad with us here, Nicki.
It’s easy to write about my parents. I think about them often and appreciate them more every year.
What a great tribute. I was a friend of your sister and remember your parents. They were very creative generous people.
It’s so nice to hear from someone who knew my sister and remembers my parents. Thanks for reading my post.
A fine tribute
Thank you, Derrick.
So glad you posted this again! So lovely!
My dad deserved a post on Father’s Day. He was a real inspiration to me.
Lovely! You should run this again near Father’s day. What a tribute.
He sounds like a great guy, Nicki, and a Dad to be proud of. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
We have fond memories of Uncle Andy! Nicki is my cousin and our Dad (James) worked with Andy. It is mind boggling how those two built so many homes during the 50’s & 60’s.
The Scottish/Irish heritage was evident in Andy & Jim. They were very hard workers with
a touch of frugality. They shared an interesting sense of humor and were smart as a whip.
It was a real education watching our Dad’s build the new home we were going to move into.
So fortunate we were to be growing up in lovely Skagit Valley. Candace
That’s a lovely story, Nicki — your father sounds like a wonderful man!
Thank you, Paula. It’s been pleasant to look back on what I admire about my dad.
This is so beautiful, Nicki. And a wonderful tribute to your dad. Reminds me of my construction foreman father and the traces of his work left behind – such as the 1950’s NASA project and the Federal Building, both in Cleveland, OH.
Good, I’m happy I reminded you of your construction foreman father. Men who build things leave very tangible memories of themselves behind.
Nicki, you look a lot like your father in that first picture!
Thank you for this post. I actually can’t say whether I have anything like this kind of story when I think about my family because the more I got busy with the family tree research and learning more about my parents life it just seems that everyone is in their own a hero. Just thinking for example how my grandfather on my mothers side lost first his whole family during the Stalin terror, then had still enough strength to escape one of the concentration camps / gulags in Siberia to make it passed the border to start a new life and family inf Finland. For most people I would find similar stories where you often think how they had the willpower to pull through
You come from a family of heroes, Timo. It’s a good thing you’re researching your family tree. Are you saving the stories for Nathan to read when he’s older?
Have you heard of Magadan in the Russian Far East? My daughter worked there for a couple of years soon after the fall of the Soviet Union. When we visited her, we saw some of the remains of the concentration camps. The Stalin terror was a time of great suffering.
For one more story of a heroic family, visit this post by Barbara on the blog, Silver in the Barn: https://silverinthebarn.wordpress.com/2015/04/20/war-stories-the-painting/
I am doing the family tree research as too much has been lost already over the years. Much information is simply lost because no one ever asked about it and all expel who might know something have died by now…
What a shame! But most of us have the same problem: the failure to ask about our family history until it’s too late.
I love every single word of this post, NIcki. Your father reminds me so of the boys described in the magnificent book “The Boys in the Boat.” If you haven’t read it, please do. It is set partly in Washington state and the young men described therein are so much like your dad in their humility, work ethic, and strength. Your father was so handsome, too. What a joy to read this especially where you reflect that your father didn’t talk much about loving you, but he showed you instead. Makes me tear up. Funny you should ask about legends in our own circles. As we speak, I am torturing myself writing about my German grandmother, the great hero of our family. And it’s not coming out well!!!! Arrrgghhh. More flogging to occur before I hit the publish button. Thanks again, Nicki, for this post.
Everyone talks about how good “The Boys in the Boat” is, but I still haven’t read it. You gave me a good reason to do so, Barbara. I’m glad you’re also writing about a hero from your family. I look forward to reading your German grandmother.
Wonderful tribute to your dad’s honesty and integrity ~ two key values for lasting happiness (when what we do and we say are in harmony).
Thank you, Nancy. Maybe I should add another virtue: modesty. My dad was happy with what he had, so he would have had fewer temptations to lie and cheat to get more.
Such a moving tribute to your dad, Nicki. He would have blushed! My own father became some kind of a legend in his little town, not based on any spectacular accomplishments but because of his genuine kindness and generosity toward people.
You’re right, Evelyne, my dad would have blushed. There’s no better way to become a legend than to be known, like your father, for his kindness and generosity. Generosity is a great virtue. My husband was a generous man, and I’m happy to see that our daughters have followed in his footsteps.
Nicki, I can tell by reading this post that you had a lot of admiration for your father. I agree with all your points but I especially agree with the first one and the third one. If you make excuses than you are not reaching your true potential and people don’t respond well to people who brag or toot their own horn.
I’m glad, Constance, that you mentioned my first and third points. Eric Greitens recently published a book called, “Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life.” I saw him on the Daily Show last week. And I think the point of his book was similar to my first point: “Don’t make excuses.” He said we all have problems in our lives, and that’s why we have to be resilient.
My parents married young and survived the depression. Both were very talented and learned to do what they needed to do. Life was harder then but also rewarding. Loved your story about your Dad. My Dad taught me basic carpentry but he died when I was 10. That didn’t stop me from learning how to remodel homes and build things.
Kate, I’m sorry that you lost your dad so early. And yet … you still learned how to remodel homes and build things. I should have learned more from my dad. I can sand, paint and varnish really well, but my sister was more interested. Last year she retired as a project manager in building and maintenance at the Seattle School District.
I think people often become legends due to character; integrity goes a long way.
I like this definition of integrity from Vocabulary.com: Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It’s a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn’t waver. It literally means having “wholeness” of character, just as an integer is a “whole number” with no fractions.
This is such a lovely tribute to your father, Nicki. I agree with all of your points, particularly number three. I believe humility is one of the greatest personality traits a person can have.
My father is becoming more of a legend in my eyes. The way he cares for my mother amazes me.
In some ways, humility seems like an old-fashioned virtue. I’m glad you picked it out, Jill. And I’m glad you mentioned your father. Caregivers should be acknowledged for their heroic service.
A very moving story, and good points, all. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for stopping by, Autumn.
Lovely article about your dad. I hope you will republish it just before Father’s Day to remind us to think back and celebrate moments our father’s were legendary. (I’d like to post it for Father’s Day on my sites.)
Thanks, Paddy. I didn’t think of making the connection with Father’s Day. And yes, I’d be happy to have you post it on your sites.
This is a very inspiring story, and a beautiful tribute to your dad.
Thank you, Michelle.
What a beautiful tribute to your father, Nicki. I see what you mean. What a great man! So glad you have such nice photos with him. Love the last one with your daughter.
My niece and nephew are quietly becoming legends. They took a long bus ride home to surprise their mom on their birthday and to help their dad at his book signing yesterday. I was very proud of them!
Your niece and nephew must be twins. How nice that they thought of their mom on their birthday! My husband used to say that his mother, not he, should be celebrated on his birthday. Their dad must have appreciated their support at his book signing. Writing a book is hard work, but the marketing effort is difficult in another way.