My mom with T
When we lived in the Philippines and later in Vanuatu, I wrote letters to my family every week. And every week after my parents read my letters, Mom filed them away. That’s a lot of letters. Let’s see, fifty-two weeks multiplied by twenty-two years … Hmm. That adds up to 1144 letters. Subtract a couple of weeks for home leave every two year, and you still have 1122 letters.
For the past few years all those letters have been sitting, untouched, in my storage room. So why should I read them now? I wrote those letters. I lived that reality.
Then it occurred to me that, since I’ve set the first part of my new novel in the Philippines, maybe I should look at them–just to refresh my memory.
I took a look, and come to find out, there were lots of things I’d forgotten.
Vancouver airport, C & T heading for departure gate with great-grandma and Sarah
First of all, I’d forgotten exactly how much more pleasant airplane travel used to be. In my first letter home, I zeroed in on the third leg of our journey to the Philippines, the flight from Tokyo to Hong Kong. The JAL 747 we flew on was only about one-eighth full.
We had so much room that T, our one-year-old daughter, stretched out on two seats to sleep. C, our three year old, used two seats to play with the paperdolls the stewardess gave her. (That’s what we called flight attendants in 1971.) R, our baby, slept in a bassinet supplied by the airline and attached to the bulkhead. And my husband and I used one set of seats for eating and another when we wanted to look out the window.
I did remember that airplane food was better in 1971. The menu I described in my letter confirmed it.
- Eye of beef tenderloin wrapped in bacon
- Snow peas
- Very fresh prawns with a lemon sauce
- Green salad with tiny cucumbers
- Roll
- Mandarin orange pudding with pineapple sauce, and
- Coffee
And this wasn’t first class or even executive. We were flying coach.
Another nice touch: They gave each of us warm wash cloths after we boarded, after we ate, and when we landed. They also passed out bamboo-and-paper fans.
Eugene, Nicki and three daughters about to board the plane
The second thing I’d forgotten about the day we left the United States was how unsettling it was for our daughters. They were leaving the only home they knew and flying off to a strange land. The baby didn’t know any better, but after a few hours on the plane, the two older ones weren’t so sure they wanted to leave home.
We were leaving Anchorage where we’d stopped to refuel and were starting to cross the Pacific when C, our three-year-old daughter told me, “I want to go back to Grandma and Grandpa’s house because I don’t know what the Philippines looks like.”
T, our middle daughter who was almost two years old, also had something to say, but she held her counsel until we landed in Tokyo. Our trip from Vancouver, B.C., to Anchorage to Tokyo had lasted about twelve hours, and during the last hour of the flight it was bumpy because we were flying on the edge of a typhoon. When we de-planed, T assumed the trip was finally finished. “I want to go to my home now,” she said.
They must have been tough little girls, though, because I reported back to my parents that by the following day they were much better.
So there you are, insights and forgotten memories taken from my first letter home. Only 1121 letters left to read. What do you think? Should I keep on reading?
Has anyone saved your letters?
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Only a Mum! 🙂 It won’t leave you much time for writing if you read all that lot, Nicki, but what an interesting insight you’ll have. A bit like reading old diaries.
Absolutely keep reading, Nicki. We always think we will remember every little detail and be able to recall everything in the future. What a treasure trove you have in those letters.
Tonight while I was doing dishes, I was watching a repeat of the CNN documentary, “The Sixties.” You’re right. There are many things we forget or only remember after being reminded. In the portion of the documentary on the women’s revolution, they mentioned that stewardesses couldn’t be too short or too tall, and they had to be beautiful and height-weight proportional. I remembered that, but I didn’t remember they couldn’t work after reaching the age of thirty-three or after getting married. What man would want to fly on an airline whose stewardesses weren’t young, beautiful, and single? someone asked.
Maybe I’ll find some interesting facts like that in my treasure trove of letters.
You definitely should read all of them. You are so right about the funny job of our memories. I love to get a glimpse of your new novel. And I absolutely love the photo of younger you with your lovely family. It’s too bad that your husband is no longer with you but you certainly lived a more adventurous life than most people. That alone makes for great memories and a better understanding of our world. And yes, flying was much more enjoyable in the past. In France we called female flight attendants (for the longest time there were only young women) hotesses de l’air or air hostesses. Food was good. Space was better. The only worst thing was that smoking was allowed.
Best to you with your new novel, Nicki.
I’m glad you enjoyed the photos, Evelyne. They’ve faded over the years, but I’m glad I have them.
Oh, yes! I’d forgotten about smoking. And they smoked right in their seats, only inches away. It’s hard to believe that was allowed. When the rules changed, not everyone was inclined to comply. My oldest daughter confronted smokers in the waiting area a couple of times. She hated the smell and she had no patience with rule breakers.
When I was in high school, all the airline “stewardesses” were young and beautiful. In the ads, they were portrayed as having a wonderful, romantic job. One of my classmates became a stewardess and stuck it out through all those years when it was no longer romantic.
I love that you have all those letters. How fun and exciting. It’s like excavating back into the lifeline of your mind. What a beautiful gift. xxoo
So far, one of the things that’s surprised me is that I bothered to tell my family the prices of things. Rattan furniture, for example, was unbelievably cheap, as were most locally grown vegetables. Electricity and cars and New Zealand beef were all expensive. I guess I thought they’d be interested in the cost of things. I don’t know if I’ll find much “excavating back into the lifeline of (my) mind.” Some, but if I’d been writing a journal then, I might have excavated a little deeper.
Yes!!! Read those letters!!
I have a box full of letters my friends wrote me when I was a child and a teenager. I love reading them, we were so funny and stupid! There are even a bunch of letters from an ex boyfriend! He hates me now so he would be very embarrassed if I published them somewhere, haha (I won’t do that. I am a nice person).
Letters are so much better than emails. Emails don’t feel warm. I don’t feel like re-reading old emails…
Letters you wrote when you were a child and a teenager must be even more fun to read. I’d probably be surprised at the kind of things I wrote then. I don’t have any letters from ex-boyfriends, but I do have some photos of them. In fact, some I would have forgotten if I didn’t have the pictures.
It’s wonderful that your mother kept the letters. For her re-reading them was feeling close to you for you were so far away. Now you can refresh your memory and re-live that time in your life. What joy! Lovely post Nicki.
Thank you, Milanka. I has been fun looking over those old letters. I’m glad my mother was so conscientious about saving them.
How cool, those letters now serve as a diary to you! Even though we live experiences there are details we forget. What a treasure to have these!
I did keep a journal for a number of years, but not during the time of most of these letter. It’s interesting: I don’t think I recorded the same things in my journal as I did in my letters.
That is quite a few letters, Nicki. I say read on, and read them all. As you said, it was you and how you lived back then – and you might discover parts of yourself you’ve never known or didn’t see back then. This was a great story and it was interesting to hear how much more comfortable plane rides were back then. From what you described, that would sort of equivalent to today’s business or first class.
I wish someone kept my letters I wrote to my friends, and the letters my friends wrote to me in primary and high school. I had quite a few penpals back then, but now we have lost touch. Or maybe I need to do a bit more digging…
I do plan to “read on,” but I don’t know if I’ll ever read them all.
I thought I’d lost track of many of my high school friends. Many of them moved to other states or other countries. But when it was time for our high school reunion, everyone worked on finding addresses and emails. And now we have a list and also a dedicated classmate who keeps it up-to-date. You mentioned penpals. When I was studying Spanish, the teacher found penpals for us all. Mine was Marta Cespedes from Santiago de Chile. Even if I google her, I wouldn’t recognize her by now.
Penpals were so fun back in the day, and I’d anticipate the letters. Sometimes, my friend would write on patterned stationary paper and I would sniff the paper for a nice smell/perfume. It is one thing to write to someone, and another seeing them again after all these years 🙂
I used to love choosing stationery. There were so many choices of colors, size, and designs. You’re right, some paper was perfumed. I have some beautiful note cards now, but I don’t use them very often.
Oh yes, my friend, do keep reading – altho I know it could be tedious – or maybe painful. But this first letter, with pictures, is incredibly sweet and nostalgic.
Thank you, Sheila. I hope the next letters will turn out to be interesting.
What a lovely story, wish I had some letters like that but in my youth mailing was declining already so all I have are some old emails which one after the other are being deleted by stupid servers as I never manage to save them in a proper way.
Even though I am a bit younger than you I remember fondly my first flight as the food there was just great, nothing to compared to the stuff they offer these days! (my first flight was back in 1994 I think and it was just delicous!)
I’m never confident of what I have saved on my computer. Note to self: I really must get an external hard drive some day soon. I love email and texting, cheap long distance calls and reading on my Kindle. But it all has a downside. There was something on the radio this morning about saving 500-year-old books. Sometimes it’s nice to have something tangible.
One of my complaints about the food they serve on most airlines these days is that its poor quality causes passengers to bring their own food, and the competing smells of hamburgers, fried chicken, tacos, and dimsum can be extremely unpleasant.
Oh I never experienced people bringing their own food on planes thus far. Only at the departure hall I saw often people with instant noodles or similar. I guess it would be pretty unpleasant to have those smells in a plane.
As for reading I always prefer to have a tangible object like a book. I read few ebooks but I don’t really like it. For some reason I just love to have books and display them after reading them, just like trophies!
I know what you mean. Especially for a writer, it feels good to display all the books you’ve read. If soccer players and swimmers can have trophies, why can’t writers?
Yes, keep reading, Nicki. Old letters are treasures. I can relate to your airline experience. My first flight ever, to Hawaii in 1968, included an elegant fillet mignon dinner with a fresh orchid on the tray. My, how times have changed!
Wow! Fillet mignon and an orchid. No wonder you remembered that dinner.
Before we moved to the Philippines, the only plane I’d been on was a small seaplane. So that flight was my first real flight on a regular commercial airplane. My children and grandchildren all started flying when they were babies or toddlers. It’s a different world.
Indeed it is, Nicki. In 1969 my parents took their first airline flight. We bought my mom a corsage to wear. Flying someplace back then was a special event!
In 1967, my sister flew to Spain for her junior year abroad. She was all dressed up in a suit and nylons and high heels. The whole family accompanied her to the airport, and of course in those days we could kiss her at the gate.. We even stood on the roof and waved at her plane after she boarded.
Wonderful story! If only airline travel was still as much fun . . .
This was wonderful Nicki. The airplane food in coach!! OMG – how that has changed. I can’t wait to read more of your life in Philippines. Could there be another book on the horizon??
Japan Airlines might have had better food than some of the others. Still, I remember enjoying the food on all those international flights. And yet, people complained, especially men with a big appetite. And, the presentation in a TV-dinner-like container wasn’t exactly classy.
I only have a couple of my letters written to my parents when we lived in Hawaii in 1961-1963. My husband had been deployed to Honolulu and we were fortunate to have been given that chance. We had one daughter who was 1 1/2 and a son who was born there at Tripler Army Hospital a few months after arrival. It’s enjoyable to read old letters. It’s amazing and wonderful that you wrote so many and that they were saved. I think a memoir is in order.
Honolulu in the early sixties. That sounds perfect. And the years when our children are small are so special.
It didn’t seem particularly amazing that I wrote that many letters. It was just a way to keep in touch. And the long-distance costs were too expensive in those days. Now I call my kids at least once a week. It’s sort of the same thing except we have no records of our conversations.
A true life story for your next book, perhaps.
I may not write a true life story, but I do like to keep the setting and historical details as realistic as possible.
I hope you weren’t affected by the coup attempt in Turkey. I was thinking about you.
That was lovely of you, Nicki. Appreciated the kind thoughts.
I’m back in London to sort out my documentation for my next overseas posting. By tomorrow morning, I will be at the Turkish Aegean coast to do a spot of woofing.
I don’t know if anyone saved my letters, but I saved all the letters my little brothers and sisters wrote me when I was in college. I think I recently gave back a few of them. 🙂 I suppose if I looked on my hard drive, I might find some old letters or emails.
In fact, Andy’s mad because I have a box in the garage marked “Romantic Correspondence.” I keep telling him it’s all material. I’ll open it some day, or maybe maybe I’ll have a niece that finds it and thinks, “Wow, these are pretty steamy, I wonder if Uncle Andy knew?!”
Your box of “Romantic Correspondence” illustrates the writer’s dilemma. Everything is “material,” even (especially) the things friends and family would like to see destroyed.
I saved a few of my kids’ letters. They’re smarter and more creative than I am, so their letters are more fun to read than the ones I wrote.
Great memory joggers. Keep at it. My version is a lifetime’s photographs
Photos are definitely good mind joggers, and you seem to have a great store of them.
I do, Nicki. Thanks
As long as you’re ENJOYING the revived memories . . . keep reading.
If the letters start to make you sad, take a break.
If reading them makes you miserable or if they contain info you don’t want your biographers to see ~> shred them.
In short, only YOU know whether reading them is a good use of your limited time on the planet. Have fun!
You hit all the main points, Nancy. I can’t think of anything that needs shredding, but enjoyment and our limited time on the planet are important considerations. Priorities!!
What a treasure trove, Nicki! Yes, keep reading! So glad your mom kept your letters! My mother has many of the cards my brothers and I sent her over the years.
I also remember how wonderful airline travel used to be. Now we’re wedged in coach without even peanuts!
I think there are some airlines that still hand out peanuts, or am I imagining it. I always enjoy the peanuts. Any little treat to break up a long trip is appreciated.
Those things our moms save sit in attics and basements for years, and we could care less. Then one day we take a peak, and we’re glad she saved them.
I saved my father’s letters to my mom. They are his love letters to her as well as letters from when he was on work trips to Alaska (late 30s) and from his SeaBees training (mid 50s). I also have photos from the Aleutians from the 30s where he was helping install early electronics for the PSNS shipyard. I’m just gaaaald he wasns’t up there in the mid 40s during the war.
Your dad’s love letters are a real treasure. After your mom read them, she probably hid them away. It would have been embarrassing to show anyone. But time gives us distance and perspective. There’s nothing embarrassing about love. On the contrary, it’s precious and human.
My sister and I also have the love letters our dad sent our mom when he was fighting in WWII. True to his generation, he hesitated to be vocal about love. So it was nice to read the words of love he wrote to our mom.
Yes you should. You may find some other nuggets that you forgot. We recently talked about how unpleasant flying has become. More seats jammed in. Less space. Way too many people. I flew from Oahu to Chicago on a red eye a long time ago. We got to spread out over a row of seats. Hot cloths were so wonderful as was the coffee and breakfast. I don’t think I could do that now. It’s like sleeping with hundreds of people these days.
I wonder if airline travel is cheaper now when adjusted for inflation. Flying has become such a normal, everyday way to travel that we need affordable flights. In 1971, flying was still relatively rare.
I’m happy your mother saved those letter, Nicki. In the days of emails and text messages, it’s important to write letters and cards, they can’t be deleted.
How things have changed! I write Christmas letters every year, but other than that, I don’t know when I last wrote a letter. I do get cards from my grandchildren. They’re good about sending detailed thank-you cards. It’s always a thrill to see their return address when I receive something in the mail.