Let’s face it, even constructive criticism can be hard to take.
I still remember the criticism of my first attempt to write a short story. I’d joined a small writing class for adults. On our second meeting, I plucked up my courage and read a few paragraphs from the still unfinished story. Then I looked up at the teacher, a well-known writer of children’s books. I didn’t expect praise. I knew it wasn’t good. But I didn’t expect her blunt assessment. “Boring,” was all she said. “It’s boring.”
Unkind? Probably. Helpful? Well … I still remember what she said, and ever after I’ve tried my best not to be boring.
Critiques at Vermont College of Fine Arts
Vermont College of Fine Arts, photo courtesy of Patrick Ross
Years later, when I was studying for my MFA at Vermont College of Fine Arts, the criticism was much more intense. AND useful … if you could take it. In particular, I’m referring to the day each semester when it was your turn in the “hot seat.” Your advisor and fifteen or so fellow students, all of whom were prepared to discuss your short story or novel excerpt would gather in a big circle with you. You’d start things off by reading a short selection. And then for the next two hours, you’d keep your mouth shut and take notes while they critiqued your work.
I said critiqued, not criticized. And there is a difference. A critique points out the good points as well as the bad. But after a couple of hours, the bad piles up. It’s one blow after another, until the story that seemed nearly perfect when you submitted it is left all battered and bloodied on your lap, ripped to shreds(nicely in some cases, viciously in others) by your fellow students.
I remember one girl who walked out of the room in tears after her critique. How many more cried into their pillows, I can only guess.
I won’t lie. Those hours were never easy. But they did help make me a better writer. Besides, the pleasures of studying at Vermont College of Fine Arts with other aspiring writers and a fantastic faculty far outweighed the pain of those afternoon critiques.
My critique group in Edmonds
Maureen, Paddy, Emily, me, and Gretchen at Caravan Kebab
Let me just say it: I love my critique group. We’ve been together (some of us) for over ten years. I found the original members when I was still in the process of moving to Edmonds.
So how is it that five ladies who meet twice a month to critique each other’s work, have become such close friends?
* First of all, we do more than critique. We drink coffee and eat lunch. And we talk about everything—our ideas and experiences, our histories and hopes, books we’ve read and movies we’ve seen, trips and kids and grandkids. Recently we’ve been talking about how to get our books published and sold.
* We trust each other. Offering up words we’ve written sometimes feels like baring our souls. But after so many years together, we trust our friends to understand and care about what we write.
* We not only criticize each other’s writing (sometimes in excruciating detail), we also praise it when it’s good.
* Last of all, we’re so used to being criticized, it hardly hurts at all any more. And we know we need it.
How do you feel about criticism?
What a great group!! That sounds like a great way to grow. I have a bit of a thick skin from sales… you hear a lot of NOs, so you become somewhat used to it. Thanks for this article, I will look and see if I can find a critique group 🙂
I am sooo unsuited for sales. It’s the hardest thing for me. I really admire people who are good at it. Last week flying from Baltimore to Philly I sat next to someone who is in sales (and a natural). It really made the flight pleasant to talk to him. He told me all about Baltimore and Chesapeake Bay and many other things, besides drawing me out about myself. He also looked up my blog and took note of the title of my upcoming novel. I didn’t even have to bring it up. I could learn a lot from people like him.
I always find it a little difficult to give as well as take criticism Personally speaking I think that if you put a positive spin on it, it is more easier to accept and be accepted by others. However, I believe it has to be filtered to some degree.
It sounds like you are surrounded by an amazing group of women. It is wonderful that you can share the love of writing with each other.
The amazing ladies in my writers group not only critique each others’ work. We support and encourage each other.
As hard as they can be comments are essential to a writer. In my critic group we always start with the good stuff before moving onto the not so good. It helps!
With time I grew a thicker skin and don’t feel crushed anymore after hearing what needs to be done on such or such work. Good luck with your projects.
And good luck with your projects, Evelyne. You’re right: It always helps to start with the good stuff.
I am writing myself a novel and I am fearing the step to present it to a critique group or similar. I know it is all for the best but still I am reluctant to do so.
However there are no excuses I can make forever to avoid this step except of being too much of a coward and just freeze my project. Lets see how it will develope as I could not do anything about my novel for several months due to too many reasons (I always find some good reasons lately)
When you do find a critique group, you needn’t present the whole novel all at once. Usually I choose 5 or 6 pages that I’m currently working on or that I’m interested in revising. Even though that’s not much, after you’ve worked together longer, the group will become familiar with the novel.
I love getting constructive criticism. I tell my students, “we can all always improve; even me!” However, even when the criticism is constructive, we don’t always have to apply it or accept it. Don’t lose your own voice when trying to improve. Just take it all in stride!
Good advice. One challenge is accepting criticism. The other is knowing what to accept and what to reject.
I agree, a good critique group is a must for a serious writer! Several of us in my group (at the Lakewood Senior Center) have been in the class for 8 to 12 years. Without this group we wouldn’t know what to do on a Monday morning! Love your writing, Nicki.
Thank you, Veda. You have an active group. We only meet every other week.
I think it’s so wonderful that you have such a wonderful critique group!
I remember the first time I took a writing class (in college) – it was intense and difficult to deal with the critiques. Then there was the question of whether or not to take a piece of advice – when the class seemed split over an issue (half thought I should add more “X” the other half thought I should take away most of the “X”).
I wish I had a critique group 🙂
Blogging has given me a MUCH thicker skin. I used to cry when I got nasty comments – but now I’ve been able to take everything in stride. And I’m lucky enough to have some readers who offer critiques 🙂
So far I haven’t needed a thick skin for blogging. Everyone has been so kind. Maybe I need to write more controversial material.
haha I had the same exact thought Nicki! Maybe I need to write things that cause more debate…
I love the idea of the critque group, sounds like a great support network!
A very interesting post! You have given me something to think about, especially given our advanced technology where there is so much to read, to experience, to explore. I am learning that social media has a way of critiquing simply by not showing up because something else has captured centre stage. I don’t think that it is a statement on whether our writing is good or bad, but rather on the highly competitive nature of our global conversation.
I can only imagine the exciting discussions that occur when you get together with your critique group!!!
It’s true that our global conversation is highly competitive. On the positive side, the world’s population is large and people are interested in a wide variety of topics–although, as you say, there’s always something new to grab center stage. Thank you for stopping by. You always add something unique to a discussion.
Constructive criticism is great, it helps a lot to see your own stories with someone else’s eyes. But I agree, it’s not always easy to give your story to someone else to read and critique, especially if it’s a very personal story. It helps if you already know the people who will critique it and know you can trust them to be fair in their judgement.
I’m glad you’ve found a group that works for you, Nicki. And agree that there’s a difference between critique and criticism.
I’ve learned to appreciate being critiqued. Criticism is a different story. As our moms used to tell us: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” In many circumstances, that’s a good motto.
I love constructive criticism. I don’t always agree because sometimes the person’s view is different but you really get a nugget of good out of every comment. You just have to be open to it. One thing I have learned from criticism is that I often didn’t give enough background for the person to fully understand the “plot.” It’s because I am always concerned about wordiness. There is a perfect spot between those two and I have to work to find it. You are so lucky to have a group. I have a friend but if I listened to her all the time, I’d be writing just like her.
Kate, you bring up some good points. A friend or a critique group is so useful in pointing out what the writer has left out or assumed the reader would understand and didn’t. And, you’re right, I don’t always agree with my friends. We all have different opinions.