I’m not blaming Toyota. They did a good job servicing my car. They changed the oil and the brake fluid. Their seating area was large and comfortable. It had coffee, water, and TV. It was going to take a couple of hours to do the diagnostic test, though. So I decided to take the shuttle back home.
In the past, I’ve enjoyed the shuttle ride—seven minutes to sit in the passenger seat, look out the window and chat with the driver. Last time the driver had been a pleasant, retired guy.
This time was different. There were three of us, two young women who looked to be in their twenties and me. The driver also was a young woman. By the time I’d climbed into the van and taken my seat behind the driver, the other passengers had already whipped out their phones. They didn’t look up from them as they gave the driver their names and addresses. When she asked for the names of the technicians in charge of servicing our cars, neither of them remembered. Strange, I thought. They were too young to have memory problems.
For the rest of the ride, no one said a word. You have to admit, phones are a barrier. They say: I have something more important to do. Or: I don’t want to talk to these people. Or: I’m uncomfortable with in-person interactions.
All the way home, I thought, this is crazy! I should say something. But what could I say?
A few days after my “very unpleasant ride,” I happened to see the US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, on TV. He’s been worried for some time about the growth of loneliness, depression, and other mental health problems among Americans, especially among young people. He believes social media is a big contributing factor, and he’s asking for a surgeon general’s warning label to be required on social media sites.
As someone who enjoys the smiles and short, friendly conversations I have with the people I brush shoulders with during the course of a day, I highly recommend it.
I’ve noticed the biggest difference in the classroom, as you can imagine. 15 years ago, students were mingling, chatting, getting to know one another, now they’re on their phones, or they might be playing a game together, which is as social as it gets.
Lately though, I’ve been struck by the amount of people I see along the river, hanging out, very big here in Siem Reap, but usually they’re on their devices. Nothing like being with your friends and family in nature, but looking down.
Oh, Lani. That’s so sad. I don’t see my grandchildren in school. I hope they don’t spend too much time on their phones. At least when they’re around me, I don’t see them on their phones. Although they do like to play computer games online with friends.
I’ve been in similar situations to the one you were in. It’s fascinating to watch someone who is totally absorbed interacting with people on the other side of their phone, while ignoring the people who are right there with them in person. Me, for instance. Or in a worse case scenario, someone with bad intentions sneaking up on the person looking at their screen.
Interacting with someone on the other side of their phone or just scrolling through their emails. You put it exactly right: ignoring the person or people right there in front of you.
I don’t have a smart phone . . . and I plan to keep it that way as long as possible. Being “on line” at home is great. Being “tethered” to the internet when I’m out and about holds NO appeal.
Wow! Nancy. Good for you. You stay true to your beliefs.
I do have a smart phone, but when I’m “out and about,” I mainly use it to take pictures. Still, it’s a temptation to use it for other purposes.
I see social media connecting people, too, though. And I think a lot of young women use their phone and headphones to avoid unwanted attention from men, who often feel entitled to their attention and will get violent if rejected. Like so many other things in life, balance is key.
During COVID, it was a blessing to have social media, Zoom, email, podcasts, and an iphone. Then, when we felt comfortable to go out again, I noticed that it felt so pleasant to have normal, brief conversations with people. I agree that balance is key. But I think there’s concern that some young people may not learn to feel comfortable with in-person human interaction.
I see it all the time. I have met some interesting people waiting for my coffee at Starbucks but they aren’t young people. They are the ones stuck to their phones. They are missing a lot.
I agree. They’re missing a lot. Besides, if they’re stuck to their phones, they won’t make it onto your blog as an interesting person worth writing about.
Hi, Nicki. That experience sounds very sad and isolating. My guess is that they didn’t know how to make conversation with other strangers or weren’t used to having to do so..
I’ve been concerned lately about people walking into streets and through parking lots while texting or staring at their phones for some other reason. Most of the time they never look at the approaching cars. I guess the expectation is that everyone else must look out for them. This is dangerous.
Talking to strangers is a skill to be learned like any other. I remember taking my daughter for interviews at some colleges she was interesting in. At the first school, I stepped up to the desk and spoke to the receptionist. She seemed to expect me to do that. At the second school, she stepped up herself without me suggesting it.
The other day, I was adjusting a podcast on my phone while I waited for the light to change. I looked up and saw that my car was rolling backward a bit, even though I had my foot on the brake. Not as bad as crossing the street while reading my phone, but it’s something I’ll be more careful about from now on.