{"id":12158,"date":"2026-02-08T09:49:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-08T17:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/?p=12158"},"modified":"2026-02-11T21:28:20","modified_gmt":"2026-02-12T05:28:20","slug":"my-mom-didnt-nurse-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/war\/my-mom-didnt-nurse-me\/","title":{"rendered":"My Mom Didn’t Nurse Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I was born in 1943, during the Second World War. No ultrasounds in those days, so my dad didn’t know whether to expect a son or a daughter. I imagine him sitting in a tent in Italy reading the telegram that announced my birth. Or maybe it was a foxhole in France.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For Valentine’s day, Mom sent him a handmade card. I wonder how quickly it arrived. Or how slowly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
a V-mail sent by Mom<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In the 1940s, wives didn\u2019t receive phone calls from the front. They didn\u2019t have FaceTime or even email. I wonder how intensely Mom followed the news. Did she scour the daily paper for every bit of information about Hitler\u2019s war? Did she keep a map of Europe beside her bed, trying to make out where Dad might be after his censored, slow-to-arrive letters arrived?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wonder what were those years like for her? Did she go to movies, even though they all started with a newsreel showing war scenes? Did she and her friends just go on about their business, pretending the war didn\u2019t exist? Or was it always there at the back of their minds?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is it better to know all the details about what\u2019s happening in the world or would we be better off not knowing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a question we\u2019re still asking ourselves. Should we follow the news or should we avoid it, especially when it\u2019s bad?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re not at war now, and yet, people talk a lot about being exhausted. We feel obliged to know what\u2019s going on in our country and the world. The problem is, though, once we know, won\u2019t we feel required to do something? And then, won\u2019t we feel even more exhausted?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s another way to look at life: We should live in the moment, appreciate the world around us, and love and help our family, friends, and neighbors. I believe that too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, dear! Life is so complicated!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

**********************************************************<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back to Mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
mom and me<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Mom didn’t tell me much about how it felt to be her\u2014pregnant and worrying about Dad. And I didn\u2019t ask. Unless your parents are storytellers or unless you\u2019re a very curious person, you just accept the basic facts about the time before you entered the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then one day when I was getting ready to nurse my daughter, I asked her if she nursed me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She looked away for a moment. \u201cI tried,\u201d she said finally, \u201cbut I couldn\u2019t do it. I was too nervous.\u201d She made a little joke about how it should have been easy with the large size of her breasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I nodded. Of course. That was the way her body responded to her anxiety about the war–about the news or the lack of news. I understand, Mom. I really do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was born in 1943, during the Second World War. No ultrasounds in those days, so my dad didn’t know whether to expect a son or a daughter. I imagine him sitting in a tent in Italy reading the telegram that announced my birth. Or maybe it was a foxhole in France. For Valentine’s day, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2745,155,2739,2746,2747,87,1837],"tags":[2750,2751,2748,2752,2749,1549],"class_list":["post-12158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-family","category-hitler","category-mom","category-nursing","category-war","category-world-war-ii","tag-anxiety","tag-exhausted-by-the-news","tag-nursing-a-baby","tag-to-follow-the-news-or-not","tag-v-mail","tag-world-war-two"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Kn1e-3a6","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1616,"url":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/china\/this-is-not-a-ghost-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":12158,"position":0},"title":"This is not a Ghost Story.","author":"Nicki Chen","date":"May 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"When war invades a country like China and many people die before their time, ghost stories multiply. They become part of the landscape. So it was inevitable that in my novel, Tiger Tail Soup, I would mention ghosts. They\u2019re not a big part of the story, but I couldn\u2019t avoid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "China"","block_context":{"text":"China","link":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/category\/china\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The ghost of Yue Fei","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/The-ghost-of-Yue-Fei-wikimedia.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":966,"url":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/war\/letters-from-the-attic\/","url_meta":{"origin":12158,"position":1},"title":"Letters from the Attic","author":"Nicki Chen","date":"February 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"My dad sent 191 letters back from Italy and France during WWII. My mom saved them all in the attic. There were many love letters","rel":"","context":"In "family"","block_context":{"text":"family","link":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/category\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dad, building a house for Eugene and me, Eugene helping","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Building-our-house-001-e1385412988988-300x280.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1302,"url":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/war\/a-certain-kind-of-soldier\/","url_meta":{"origin":12158,"position":2},"title":"A Certain Kind of Soldier","author":"Nicki Chen","date":"March 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Two veterans of WWII. My dad was a gentle man, quiet, kind and hard working. He didn\u2019t get into fights, beat his wife or abuse his children. So it\u2019s hard to imagine him taking part in the violence of World War II. My father-in-law was a classical Confucian gentleman. Like\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "family"","block_context":{"text":"family","link":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/category\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"WWII-Dad in uniform","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/WWII-Dad-in-uniform-e1391900261260-203x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6094,"url":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/china\/a-certain-kind-of-soldier-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":12158,"position":3},"title":"A Certain Kind of Soldier","author":"Nicki Chen","date":"May 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"(This post was first published more than three years ago. I think Memorial Day weekend is an excellent time to revisit these two remarkable men, my dad and my father-in-law.) Two Veterans of WWII My dad was a gentle man, quiet, kind, and hard working. He didn\u2019t get into fights,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "China"","block_context":{"text":"China","link":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/category\/china\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/WWII-Dad-in-uniform-e1391900261260-203x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":716,"url":"https:\/\/nickichenwrites.com\/wordpress\/culture\/the-magic-of-mothers-milk\/","url_meta":{"origin":12158,"position":4},"title":"The Magic of Mothers’ Milk","author":"Nicki Chen","date":"December 22, 2013","format":"aside","excerpt":"A Cure for Red, Itchy Eyes A few months ago my niece\u2019s eyes were driving her crazy. They were red, itchy and dry. \u00a0It was probably just an allergy, but she didn\u2019t want to take an antihistamine because she was breast feeding. What to do? 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