I click the attachments on my daughter’s e-mail, and there he is: my six-year-old grandson looking jaunty in his knee-length red pants and green sweatshirt, a backpack slung over his shoulders. He lives across the country from me, in Maryland, and this is his first day of school. He stands behind the sign for Mrs. M’s first grade class, waiting with the other children to be ushered into their classroom for the very first time.
I search his face for telltale signs of first-day-of-school jitters. But he looks totally relaxed, his feet set wide apart, his little suntanned face breaking into an enormous smile. It’s obvious he’s happy to be there and eager to get started.
I shouldn’t be surprised. My grandson takes after the other grandmother: a people person. When he was two-years old, he knew the names of all the kids in his daycare, and he could pair them with their mothers and nannies.
Me? I was jittery on the first day of school. I had no excuse. I wasn’t bullied; I had friends; the teachers liked me. And yet, the thought of a new year always made my heart flutter. The night before, I’d rearrange my pencil box, double-check my lunch money, and—most important of all—set out my new clothes, usually a dress made by my mom.
The next morning I’d arrive early at the bus stop with butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know what I was afraid of. Nothing really—just the perception of an unfamiliar situation.
Once school started, though, I’d realize nothing had changed much since the previous year, and then I’d relax … Until the first day of school rolled around again.
I suppose we’re all jittery to one degree or another before stepping into the unknown. Nevertheless, we’re required to do so again and again. In the brief six years of my grandson’s life, already he’s faced scores of new situations, with many more yet to come.
If the first day of first grade has left him unfazed, there will be other challenges. An extra-long zip line. A difficult karate class. A first kiss, a final exam. SATs and college applications. Finding a job; losing a job. The changes and first days, trials and new starts will just keep coming. And thank God for that.
I glance at my grandson’s photo once more. If he felt jittery heading into his first day in first grade, you’d never guess it.
P. S…. On Saturday, I asked my grandson, “How was the first week of school?”
“It was GREAT!!!” he said, and proceeded to tell me some of the highlights–something about his avatar that he could change at will. His current choice is a rocket ship.
Gorgeous photos Nicki, and lovely story. While I’m getting better with age, I’m definitely in the same camp as you….good on your grandson for being so relaxed and happy! I wish him a happy journey through school life.
It didn’t matter if it was elementary school or college, my stomach always had that nervous feeling on the first day. I love the photos, Nicki…too cute!
Thanks, Jill. The photo in the hallway wasn’t actually a first-day-of-school photo. It was for a fashion show. But I thought the uneasy look on my face fit the topic.
Good for him! I like it that you tie his experiences to yours. How different can we be when we face the same circumstances.
We’re probably all different in our responses, but I like Nancy’s comment that a lot has to do with our interpretation of that jittery feeling. Better to call it excitement rather than nervousness.
I think it’s easier to embrace uncertainty when we view any internal jitters and butterfly flutters as “excitement” rather than “nervousness.”
Sounds like your grandson has already mastered that life skill!
That’s a sensible approach, Nancy. Our internal dialogue is so important.
Yes! The stories we tell ourselves via internal dialogue can make us or break us.
BTW: I love that photo of you sitting in the front row, raring to go!
Yeah. I did like to sit in the first or second row. Still do.
I love the black and white pictures!
Thank you so much, Lars. Only two of the photos are from my photo album. The one with the four children is from wikimedia.
Love this blog Nicki – and I still remember those jitters like it was yesterday.
I always, always had jitters on the first day of a new school year! Even when I was in college! I think I’ve always been a slightly jittery person when it comes to unknown situations (as you mentioned). But the good thing is, every challenge eventually passes and somehow we find our way to courageously move forward into the next day.
A perfect explanation, Jocelyn. I suspect everyone who knows you would think of you as courageous. But then, courage is not being without fear. It’s moving forward into the new day, as you say, despite initial feelings of jitters.
It’s always interesting to hear what goes through a person’s first day of any new, important task. Thanks for sharing. May your grandson enjoy the dozen pls year’s of school ahead of him.
Thanks for the good wishes, Paddy.