Expatriates. Why Do They Do It?

by | Jul 30, 2017 | blogging, book reviews, China, expatriate life | 14 comments

at the airport–leaving home, heading for Manila

Expatriates. Why Do They Do It?

Why do they leave family and friends and a country they love to live in a place that’s foreign to them? A place where they in turn will be considered foreign?

The answer is seldom simple, even in a single person or family. It may be a job opportunity, a transfer, the search for adventure and challenge, curiosity about the world, or the desire to be on the outside looking in.

In our case, it all started when my husband’s company closed during the great economic downturn of 1971 for engineers in Seattle. Eugene went months without work. Even then, he probably wouldn’t have considered a job with the Asian Development Bank in Manila if he hadn’t been Asian and if I hadn’t had a sense of adventure and an interest in Asia. Besides, we thought we could always move back home in four or five years. We never dreamed we’d be expats for the next twenty-two years

In Hong Kong to meet my father-in-law on the way to Manila … Tired

Expatriate bloggers

In my blogroll (to your right), you will find quite a few expatriates in the “Asian Connection” section. You’d have to visit their blogs to get a true sense of their motivation. But I’d like to introduce you to a few of them.

     Jasmine Tea & Jiaotze

The author of Jasmine Tea & Jiaotze, is a “trailing spouse.” In other words, she’s someone who moved abroad for the the sake of her husband’s work. (In my day, we were just “expat wives.”) An ex-magistrate, Herschelian is from South Africa. She spent her 30s, 40s, and 50s in London, and now she and her husband live in Beijing. A smart observer with an obvious fondness for Chinese culture, her posts are always full of fascinating insights and details.

     Life, the Universe and Lani

Lani is an American from Hawaii. She moved to Thailand in 2009. Before  that, she lived in Ecuador. Now she and her boyfriend live in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Lani is one of the most thoughtful people I know. She obviously doesn’t believe in living the “unexamined life.”

Why is Lani an expatriate? According to her she’s “looking for adventure, answers and an alternative lifestyle.”

     My Hong Kong Husband

Lina is a lively Polish woman married to a Hongkonger. She and Sing live in Ireland now, but they’re preparing to move back to Hong Kong, a place she seems to love every bit as much as her husband does.

Lina, who is only 26 years old, is wise for her age. See her post on rules of arguing and also her post on when your uterus becomes family business. She always leavens her wisdom with some humor.

     Susan Blumberg-Kason

Susan isn’t actually an expatriate. She lives in Chicago with her second husband and children. But she has the mentality of an expatriate. She spent her childhood “dreaming of the neon street signs and double-decker buses of Hong Kong.” When she was old enough, she moved there to study. Her first husband was a good looking young Chinese from the mainland.

In her memoir, Good Chinese Wife, Susan describes the five years she spent trying to adjust to Chinese family life and to an emotionally abusive husband. You can read my review of the book here.

Despite a problematic marriage, Susan hasn’t lost her love for Hong Kong and China, and her blog reflects that love and interest.

     Other expatriates

In last week’s post, Are Online Friends Really Friends?, I wrote about some other expat bloggers:

Jocelyn Eikenburg of Speaking of China,

Marta of Marta lives in China, and

Constance of Foreign Sanctuary.

If you visit any of the blogs I’ve mentioned, let me know what you think.

 

 

 

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14 Comments

  1. Marta

    It seems we follow more or less the same people, the only blog I didn’t know was the Jasmine Tea one. Sounds very interesting, unfortunately it hasn’t been updated in a while!

    I think moving abroad now is not too hard. When you miss your friends and family you can video call them, and if you need anything from your country you can buy it online, hehe.

    Reply
    • Nicki Chen

      I agree. Moving abroad must be easier now than it was years ago, when the price of a long-distance call was out of reach and no one had internet or email. During our early years in the Philippines, we couldn’t buy apples or Christmas trees, and we had to wait until home leave to buy American-size shoes and clothes. There were many compensations, though–mangoes, papayas, and dressmakers, for example.

      Reply
  2. mommermom

    A very interesting post and I have often wondered this. Not only that I have also wondered if I could do that. Although I’ve come to the conclusion this is not for me I do follow Lani and find it fascinating to hear her journey. One of the things I love about blogging is learning about different places and how people live. The sharing of experiences has been fascinating to me, a person with so limited travel experience outside of the United States.

    Reply
    • Nicki Chen

      Lani is brave, more so, I think, than most expats. She really has struck out on her own. When we moved abroad, we had the support of the organization my husband worked for. On the other hand, one of the biggest complaints for most of the expat wives I knew was that they couldn’t work. At that time, for example, the International School didn’t hire foreign teachers because of an agreement with the Filipino teachers’ union, and there was no internet so we were more isolated. On the positive side, our living conditions were generally fairly comfortable.

      Reply
      • mommermom

        Very insightful. Reminded me when my sister was a teacher in Qatar for a few years and her husband was the so-called odd one out. It was a tough time for him but she loved it.

        Reply
        • Nicki Chen

          Your sister’s husband had the double disadvantage of having nothing to do and being the only man among a bunch of expat wives. That must have been hard.

          Reply
  3. nrhatch

    As you note, the circumstances vary from individual to individual. Perhaps the common denominator is that the PULL of the new country exceeds the TIES of the old one?

    My grandmother and great aunt emigrated from Scotland in 1918. After 6 months, they returned home due to extreme homesickness. There, they again assessed the situation and returned to the states permanently. It’s a huge adjustment.

    Reply
    • Nicki Chen

      The story of your grandma and great aunt made me smile. Sometimes we long for the things we’ve lost and forget to appreciate what we have. In their case, though, six months isn’t usually long enough to feel at home in a foreign country. I remember that after living in the Philippines for a year, I had a strong feeling of relief. Everything suddenly seemed easier. I knew how to get around, and I knew what to expect.

      I hear a lot of talk about reverse culture shock. It didn’t hit me hard, maybe because we had home leave every couple of years. But a returning expat may not have realized how comfortable they’ve become in their life abroad, despite the many problems.

      Reply
  4. macjam47

    When a person first moves to another country, there must be moments of loneliness from missing family and friends back home to not knowing anyone in the new location. I would think that social media today has eased that loneliness considerably.

    Reply
    • Nicki Chen

      After my second daughter graduated from college, she took a job in the Russian Far East. It was, I think, the year after the fall of the Soviet Union, and Russia had almost no infrastructure for communicating with the outside world. From a mother’s point of view, that was really hard. She stayed for about two years. By the end of that time, a co-worker was just setting up an email connection.

      When we moved overseas, we were so busy making new friends that I barely had time to be homesick. I think it was harder for my parents and sister.

      Reply
  5. L. Marie

    Thank you for introducing us to these bloggers, Nicki.
    The daughter of a friend moved to England permanently after a semester abroad. She met and married someone there. 😀

    Reply
    • Nicki Chen

      All the best to the daughter of your friend. Now your friend has a reason to travel to England. It’s nice to have your kids live nearby. But as long as they move to a pleasant place, there are compensations.

      Reply
  6. Kate Crimmins

    It takes a lot of guts or a true sense of adventure to move. I admire my grandparents because all four of them emigrated here permanently when they were young adults. How hard that must have been.

    Reply
    • Nicki Chen

      My paternal grandparents were also young adults when they moved to Canada and then the US. Their intention was to escape poverty in Ireland and Scotland (the Orkneys), and I’m sure their lives in the New World were not easy.

      I think I would have said the difference between expats and our grandparents is that expats arrive with a job, and they don’t plan to stay forever; whereas our grandparents found their own jobs, and they had no intention of going back. But some of my blogging friends have a different kind of expatriate experience. It seems to be somewhere in between our grandparents and the expats I knew.

      Reply

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